Ohio – Cleveland Browns rookie wide receiver Corey Coleman has suffered a broken hand and will likely miss four-to-six weeks, adding another injury to the pile of insults that have been unleashed upon the team.

His hand is fractured but will not require surgery. (Hey Tony Robbins, is this a silver lining?) Please direct your sympathy to the official website of the Cleveland Browns.

Not that curses are real but c’mon, can they get a little bit of good luck to come their way? Ever since the 1987 AFC Championship, there has been something amiss.


The Fumble 1987 AFC Championship

So let us imagine a world where the Cleveland Browns win a few games and have consecutive weeks without any arrests, investigations, or injuries:

♥ Retail sales of jerseys and memorabilia bring the economy roaring back to life and the national debt disappears.

♥ A global chain reaction of love, peace, and harmony blossoms and bright orange becomes the new color of hope, replacing all others on the rainbow.

♥ The Dawg Pound changes its name to “Puppy Love” and fans shout encouragement and compliments to opposing players while throwing tulips onto the field instead of dog biscuits.

Maybe this is what life was like on Jupiter’s Europa moon. Oh the things we dream of…