Want to impress your friends with how knowledgable you are on things that don’t matter? THEN READ THIS ARTICLE!

5: Bobba Fett survived the Sarlacc pit. Not only that, he goes on to train Jaina Solo the daughter of Han and Leia Solo. This is knowledge that might come in handy with the new movies coming out, plus it’s just good to know when your friends bring up the fact he was taken out by a blind man. Star Wars is so much more than the six movies, and the extras count. So if the Fett shows up in the next films, don’t say I didn’t tell you.

4: The rule of two. Have you ever wondered why the emperor didn’t just teach a whole bunch of force sensitive beings to be Sith masters? No? Are you thinking that might have solved all of his problems? WRONG! Darth Bane instituted what was known as The Rule of Two stating: There can be only two — Master and an Apprentice — One with the power and one to take it away. Before Darth Bane there where thousands of Sith actively fighting against the Jedi. The problem was that the Sith ways actively go against team work which makes running an army a bitch. If you are like me and can’t get enough of this story behind the story, check out Star Wars: Darth Bane: Path of Destruction and its subsequent sequels.

3: Han Solo was an Imperial officer. That’s right; everyone’s favorite scruffy looking nerf herder was a pilot for the empire in his early years. That is not only where he learned all those sweet maneuvers but also where he met his copilot Chewbacca. When Han saved the Wookie from a beating, Chewie pledged a life debt to Solo. So that whole best friend for life thing we grew up with has slight tinges of honor slavery to it.

2: The majority of Storm Troopers in the movies are left-handed. I don’t really have anything to add to that. Just a fact.

1: Han shot first. Being only 21, I never had the chance to see the original movies in the theater. That was a blessing given to the generation prior. Granted I’ve gotten my hands on a few bootlegs of the theatrical relies and I can say, here and now, Han shot Greedo in cold blood. In later adaptations of the film Greedo fires but misses or Han moves out of the way at the very last second. All horse shit. We have to remember that Han is a smuggler and killing the little green lackey was just his way of avoiding Jabba the Hut’s reprimand for a botched job. Many will argue the ambiguity of the cinematic, In fact ol’ Lucas himself said that Greedo always shot first and the audience was mistaken… Thousands on thousands of young and old where mistake. Nice try Uncle George.

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John Osborne

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