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I believe in the Golden Rule – The Man with the Gold… Rules.

-Mr. T

PANIC!

The market is down (or correcting itself) and we’re all going down with it. But, there is hope. Some say that if we were to buy gold, we could sit back and watch the chaos unfold as we take comfort with our precious metal (or pieces of paper stating that we now own precious metal).

So what are we waiting for?

INVESTING IN GOLD

Well, some of us are waiting to scrape together a mere £744.88 for our first ounce – that is about $1140 for those of us living in The Colonies. That price is for one ounce, just one.

What else weighs one ounce?

A slice of bread, five U.S. quarters, a DVD, and about 28 paper clips (not sure who took the time for that one, but hey it says so on the Internet so it is obviously a scientific fact that 28 paper clips do indeed weigh one ounce).

We are told that something so small and light, albeit shiny, will yield a value close to one month’s mortgage payment on a quarter-million dollar home.

Opposing View:

Regarding gold, Warren Buffet said, “It gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head.”

First of all, this confirms there is life on Mars, and since he said that back in 1998, there has been life on Mars for quite some time and evidently the 1%’ers know all about it.

I digress.

Four words by Buffet catch the eye when he said, “It has no utility.” Meaning that with investing in gold we are in fact rolling the dice in hopes of someone else buying it back from us later on at a price that is greater than which we originally paid.

Does that sound like sports cards to anyone? I recently sold my boxes and albums of sports heroes to pay off my college loans. The proceeds from the sale covered my fuel and the extra value meal I bought after meeting the buyer via a Craigslist deal.

I digress again.

I’m not saying that gold is a foolish investment, but like all investments, getting in at the peak is typically the way to lose money, not make money. There must be an easier way to acquire gold without having to use an online agent or scouring the Internet for a broker.

State-Lines Road Trip!

I say we charter a plane to Alaska, book a floor at the Marriott, borrow shovels from the locals, and dig up some gold in them thar glaciers.

We’re going to be rich I say, rich.

But don’t tell anyone.

We wants it. We needs it. The Precious!

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About The Author

Steve Ross

It is difficult not to write satire. ― Juvenal

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