Jordan Bates

What are your three favorite television dramas of all time?
Don’t try to deny it – Beast Wars was dramatic
Maybe a cartoon, but hell, they’re at war!
And Game of Thrones knows what the audience must have:
Love story between a sly dwarf and his whore.
And Heroes had ups and downs (blame striking writers)
But season 5 satisfied me – I want more!

What are your three favorite television comedies of all time?
Oh, glorious Rory and Lorelai of Gilmore Girls!
You’re role models for the three sweet Powerpuff Girls.
But dudes are cool, too – go ahead, ask Boy Meets World.

What prematurely aborted or cancelled television series (and its consequent lack of closure) has left you utterly empty inside? 
How’s Annie? How’s Audrey?
Twin Peaks let us question…
Its sequel-slash-prequel
Just increased the tension!

What do you consider to be the most satisfying television series finale ever? 
Believe it or not, I’ll say Digimon –
Specifically, in season 3.
I cheered and I wept when the ending came on…
(So what if I was twenty-three?)

What is a favorite film that you consider to be obscure or unknown to others?
The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao
It’s silly, but still, the tears flow…

What is a film you have seen that you consider to be an unforgivable waste of your precious time?
The Spanish Prisoner was painful,
Heinous and, above all, shameful.

What are your three favorite films of all time?
My first has both rabbit and end of the world,
But, frankly, our dark hero ne’er gets the girl.
My second was filmed in entirely one day:
On July 24th, my birthday… Hooray?
My third is obscure, but inherits the wind,
Revealing the miracles under our skin.

Who are three film directors whose work you admire?
Wright, Tarantino, and Anderson;
Come join me and give them a hand, my son!

What are your three favorite music groups?
Five Iron Frenzy brings ska,
Showbread brings rock, rough and raw,
Brave Saint Saturn brings deep awe,
And Reese Roper played with them all.

Who is your favorite dead musician of any era?
They called him Mr. Fahrenheit:
The Queensman Freddie danced in light.

What are your three desert island albums?
An album of music or photographs?
Until you tell me, I won’t answer that!

What music group or performer would you like to punch in the face?
I wouldn’t grumble or complain
If I were to be sucker-punched
By the members of Sleigh Bells;
I’d laugh and buy them lunch!

What are your three favorite books?
There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom, oops!
It’s not always easy to poop
When genders are mixed
It makes some feel sick
And bully one boy in a group
The Westing Game promises riches
While also rebuilding some bridges
If you’re smart enough
And if you can rough
Out attitudes of jerks and bitches
A Storm of Swords I quite admire –
Best of A Song of Ice and Fire
Some people eat dust
Some others adjust
To life among killers and liars

What well known voice would you like to have read you to sleep each night?
Shirley Manson – Terminator,
Garbage vocalist – does cater
To my tastes, so every evening
She could croon me into dreaming.

Who is your favorite stand-up comic?
Killing me with mundane ramblings:
Brian Regan, fun for families!

Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Madoka Magica, an anime
Has evil incarnate they call Kyubey…
But, aww, look at him! Just the cutest face!

Who is your favorite fictional villain?
Ajimu Najimi, in manga you’ve never
Read through, called Medaka Box.
Her quadrillion powers let her live forever
And troll readers ’cause she rocks!

Who is your favorite fictional hero?
Alas, my poor Yorick,
Why you, last of men?
Surrounded by women,
But a monkey best-friend.

Who are your favorite sports teams?
The Devilbats of Deimon
From a manga I’ve been reading
Called Eyeshield 21: my
Favorite storyline I’ve come by.

What fantasy sports do you play?
There is one fantasy
I’d die or kill to try:
A Quidditch match on brooms!
…Yet Muggles cannot fly.

What are your best sports moments as a fan?
I rarely watch a single sport;
I’m just not cut out for that sort.