It’s the most wonderful time, of the summer.
The bands will play loud,
the sun will burn hot,
FYF won’t be a bummer.
It’s the hap happiest time, of the summer.
Hipsters galore! Trendsters abound. What’s the difference? Well, hipsterdom is an attitude, dare I say a way of life. It’s about being trendy, but kinda the Indiana Jones of trendy; exploring the caves of culture to discover the holy grail of what’s cool. But when what’s cool is “so two years ago” the fedora is donated back to the goodwill and the trendster hits gold. They carry the hipster torches into the mainstream, a territory the hipster can’t go, due to the shock collars that come standard with being hip.
So what will you be this weekend? Still think a sailor’s hat is ironic? Or are you into the gothic witch look? Yeah, I am aware my truck hat and cut off jean jacket makes me the “punk hipster,” the guy who won’t let punk die. But I own up to it. So own up to who you are, you Frankenstein of trends, you “Franken-Style.”
It’s gonna be hotter than Satan’s Sphincter, so I expect a plethora of tank tops and cheap sunglasses, complimented by sundresses; hats of all shapes and sizes, and beer, weed, beer, weed, and more beer. After all, it’s about staying hydrated! But, fo realz, drink water. Bring a scarf or bandana, NOT BECAUSE IT’S COLD, or COOL, but because it’s dustier than Taz and Pig Pen having sexual relations. So wrap that scarf round yo’ face, ya Fool!
ALRIGHT, all the aforementioned material could be applied to most music festivals, but this is your FYF PSYCH SYNC EXCLUSIVE. I am going to suggest three paths through FYF this weekend, knowing you already have your mind set on who you want to see, I am providing direction for the lost sheep. I will give you two showlists for Saturday and one forSunday. And since the stages are named after the ladies of Sex in the City, my lineups are named after the boys of Trailer Park Boys.
Ricky Lineup– smoke weed, eat pepperoni, and drink to get drunk
METZ ~ TY SEGALL ~ TITLE FIGHT ~ THEE OH SEES ~ FLAG ~ DEATH GRIPS (assuming they show up)
Julien Lineup– drink rum and coke, display honor, avoid confrontation
CRYSTAL ANTLERS ~ HORSE MEAT DISCO ~ DEVENDRA BANHART ~ TV ON THE RADIO ~ YEAH YEAH YEAHS
Bubbles Lineup– wear thick glasses, lookout for the kitties, stand up for your friends
THE ORWELLS ~ NO AGE ~ THE MELVINS ~ MGMT ~ HOLY GHOST!
Alright gang, that’s it for now. See ya Saturday!