Super Weird Confessions
Buckle in. This one is going to get strange. Let’s talk about how I go to sleep every night. I know many of you are imagining any number of scenarios. On top of a pile of sweet, sweet Jesus money? (I work for a church so that is a good assumption) Nope. Spooning my dog? He’s pretty adorable, but no… He usually cuddles with the wife. Thrashing violently due to an assortment of fever dreams and night terrors? That one is kind of true… I actually, legitimately fall asleep at night wearing headphones. I know, it sounds really uncomfortable right? Sometimes it is, but usually I’m fine. Does anyone else out there do this? No? Just me?
That’s kind of odd I admit. But I promised you super weird confessions. So let’s get to the super weird part. Below is an unordered list of YouTube videos I listen to while going to sleep. Prepare to think way less of me.
Look at this nut case. Right out of the gate, we are starting strange. Gregg Braden may look like the villain from an 80’s action flick, but he’s actually super nice and peaceful. He has all this weird new agey videos and theories. Most of it is bananas, but it’s fun to imagine the stuff that he says is true. Or maybe some of it is? I really like his idea of fractal time. About how life is full of these endless cycles. Not that we are necessarily doomed to repeat personal struggles and national tragedies, but the conditions for repeating them appear in patterns. That one is fun. I’m sure he made a good amount of money selling books about 2012 and how that was the end of a cycle… Again, not necessarily the end of the world, but the end of an age. But my favorite of his has to be the Seven Essene Mirrors. This one gets bonus point for how high he wears his pants. Just awesome. The gist here is that the way we react to certain things holds a mirror up to us and tells us something about ourselves. It can show you something about you, about how you judge, or even our “dark night of the soul” moments. I love listening to this one because of how calm the teaching is, and I especially love around the 60 minute mark. He talks about how our view of God is really a view of our parents. It’s fascinating, and very calming. If you’re like me, and at night your brain doesn’t shut off, it’s nice to focus on something peaceful and calm until it actually does.
Ok, you thought the last guys was weird? This guy is way weirder. He believes in things like teleporation, and that he is the reincarnation of Edgar Cayce. Yes, he’s crazy… But man he’s a fun kind of crazy. Again, he’s a guy I listen to and just imagine how cool life would be if half the stuff he said were true. My favorite of his is centered around the pineal gland. It’s this weird little sector of the brain that’s shaped like a pine cone. Per his theory, it is our actual and true third eye. Along with consuming the most blood flow of any gland (even though it’s very small) it gives us telepathic powers and other awesome things. Of course, it would if we didn’t abuse it with calcium and cell phones! There’s also tons of cool stuff in here about sacred geometry and crop circles, and conspiracy theories about the Vatican! He has another great video where he interviews this next guy I’m going to talk about.
Finally, a normal dude! He’s a real journalist! I wouldn’t describe this guy as insane at all. He got his start doing actual credible journalism and then meandered his way in to alternate history. Honestly, almost any video of his would be great to fall asleep to. Very cool and interesting, and bonus, he’s british so he has a super awesome accent. Most of his stuff will center around the Earth, and specifically, human civilization, being much older than we give it credit for. He is one of the guys saying that The Sphinx is way older than traditional historians think due to water erosion signs on the monument. I’m going to rapid fire a few links here for you. Quest for the Lost Civilization – This is a full on two and a half hour documentary about an ancient connecting culture that influenced all of the ones we know about. It’s very interesting, and relaxing. Fingerprints of the Gods – His most famous work and the basis for his main theory. Remember how I said this guy isn’t weird? Well this may make him a little weird depending on your… Leanings. He’s super into ayahuasca, a hallucinogenic drink made by the tribal people of South America. Hear about that insanity on the Joe Rogan podcast.
This one isn’t weird at all. Bob Ross is the man. I’ve been mesmerized by him and his happy little trees since I was a boy. The only thing that makes sleeping to him difficult is if you are wearing head phones, the brush strokes can be annoying. I’d recommend him if you live alone. Nix the headphones, then get transported to one of his magical landscapes. Here are a few of his best episodes. The Grandeur of Summer. Valley View. Mystic Mountain.
Ok. Now for the weirdest one of all. If you’ve lasted this long, enjoy. Laugh at the weird thing that I do. What is ASMR? Let’s consult the inter webs. Here’s what wikipedia says.
Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is a neologism for a perceptual phenomenon characterized as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back, or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or cognitive stimuli. The nature and classification of the ASMR phenomenon is controversial, with much anecdotal evidence of the phenomenon but little or no scientific explanation or verified data.
Ok…. Big words…. So here’s what Urban Dictionary has to say.
The sole purpose of ASMR is to relax people. The ASMR community is constantly growing on Youtube. Ideally, ASMR videos are meant to give the viewer a relaxing tingle at the back of their head and/or spine. ASMR videos usually involve one or more of the following things:
• Gentle whispering
• Relaxing hand movements
• Smacking of the lips
• Nail tapping/scratching on hard surfaces such as tables
• Brushing sounds
Usually these are done with really cool 3d microphones. Seriously, they sound amazing. That doesn’t sound too weird, right? Ok… Just watch a few of these. There are seriously too many for me to mention and they are BLOWING UP on YouTube. You can watch a video where a “barber” gives you a “haircut”. You can simply listen to someone whisper in your ear. You can “get a massage.” I personally like the ones where they just talk about… Anything. There are a bunch where they do “triggers”, sounds that give you tingles. I find most of them annoying. They may rub the microphone or play with cellophane. My favorite is one where they give you “yoga instruction”. But really, it’s all about the fact that some one is just softly talking to you. Click the link above and try a few out. Let me know what you think! Maybe I am not the only super weirdo out there.