I woke up this morning and did my regular routine of checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr before even lifting my head up off the pillow. On Facebook someone invited me to an event at a club that I’m never ever going to. On Twitter people were sub-tweeting about each other. Pictures of breakfast burritos filled my feed on Instagram. Crafts ideas and recipes crowded Pinterest. And lastly, on Tumblr people were reblogging pictures of their cats. That was my morning, thus bringing me to my post… Today I would like to dedicate this article to social media and the lessons its taught me so far.

Let’s start with Facebook. Facebook has taught me that it really is true what they say about life after high school, which is, it only slightly gets better. Bills replace essays and co-workers you hate replace friends you only hung out with because you didn’t want to sit alone in the cafeteria. People you still want nothing to do with will send you messages or ‘poke’ you because the years have done you some good and apathy suits you. The girl you sat across from in Spanish posts pictures of her son every hour so now you know his daily routine and it’s creepy. Your grandmother will send you Candy Crush game invites and when you don’t accept she’ll post a rant on your wall and it’ll be really embarrassing so you should go ahead and unfriend her and just tell her you deleted your profile. And, that’s Facebook.
On to Twitter. Twitter has taught me that everyone is annoyingly passive aggressive. Sarah tweets, “I don’t need u” and Jimmy texts Sarah like, “what was your tweet about, Sarah?” And then Sarah is like, “Oh, nothing Jimmy. I love you so much boo boo,” while she’s simultaneously ripping up everything of his and setting it on fire. Everyone does it. Including myself.

Following Twitter we have Instagram. Instagram has taught me that people love their food. I mean, people love their food. You had a hamburger for lunch? Buddy, you better share a picture of that beautiful thing before you eat it or your friends aren’t going to know what you had for lunch. And that, would truly be a devastation. Another thing Instagram has taught me is that people love to take pictures of themselves. Or, should I say, “selfies”? I, again, am one of the thousands of perpetrators who do this. It’s a problem. Why do we do it? I don’t know. Maybe we feel the need to keep everyone up to date on how we look because, you know, we change drastically over the hours.

Next is Pinterest. Pinterest taught me that no matter how much time I think I have, I’ll never have enough. Will I ever have time to bake those s’more cookies, make an apron, and re-carpet  the house!? No, probably not. However, it’s nice to at least have a list, er- board, that has all of my to do’s in one place. Pinterest is pretty much a craft, food, and clothing bucket list for women.

And lastly we have Tumblr. Tumblr has taught me how to procrastinate. When I was in high school I spent hours “tumbling” about only God knows what. Typical teenage angst stuff I suppose. Then, throughout the years Tumblr sort of developed into more of a virtual scrapbook of pictures you didn’t take yourself instead of an actual “blogging” website. People post pictures of things like Kurt Cobain or someone’s mouth. It doesn’t make any sense at all. Yet, I can’t seem to cut the ties to my Tumblr. And the blogging of pictures continues to run my spare time.

With all of that being said, take a step back and examine your span of social media. Soak up the comedy in it all because pretty soon new sets of social media will come in to rule our lives all over again. These are some valuable lessons, folks. Apply them to your life gracefully.



About The Author

Ashlee Fowler

Twenty-two. Fiancée to co-founder and fellow contributor Adam Kappel. Caffeine, comics, and comedy.

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